Well hello there! It’s been a long time since I’ve written here, and I miss sharing posts and recipes with you. It’s been a weird couple of years—or if I’m being honest, four years, starting in 2019 when I got a seriously bad concussion—through the pandemic and adjusting to life afterward. I think a lot of us have been on a rollercoaster of life, world, and personal things feeling out of control since then. Or, is it just me?
But, my recent uncertainty started with being laid off in the fall of 2021. Luckily, I had time to prepare and knew the layoff was coming, so I decided it was time to take the leap to get a writing job (since that’s what I went to school for and my true passion). A few months later, I landed my first professional writing job after doing independent freelance off and on for years. I started a Copywriter job in January 2022 and jumped into learning everything I could about marketing, writing, content creation, etc. I had incredible mentors, coworkers, and the space to be flexible and creative. It was a dream! Then, I got completely blindsided and laid off again in March 2023.
I was devastated. I felt cheated out of the experience and a job that I was planning to keep for a while. When I started the position I knew it wouldn’t be forever, because it wasn’t in my ideal industry, but it was a start I was grateful for. I didn’t think that I would get kicked off so quickly, even with uncertainty around the company in general. I trusted the CEO when he said (to my face) he’d keep our jobs safe through a possible acquisition, and I believed that I was important to them. I still wonder how I was able to trust this company after being a cog in the corporate wheel for so long. I told myself that they were a small company so they cared about their employees, and they were supposed to be different. And the layoff is when I learned that no company is really different. You become a cog in a different wheel that ultimately isn’t your own or under your control. At 35 I didn’t think I’d need to learn this lesson again, but I did.
Now it’s been almost six months since I got laid off. A lot of companies have done layoffs in that time, and the market is NOT GOOD, especially for marketing jobs. There are few jobs to be had, and too many people applying. LinkedIn asks, “Want to see how you compare to 1,200 other applicants?” No. Not really. It’s a rollercoaster, especially when you can’t control a single thing about the process. So you tailor your resume, write a great cover letter, and then you’re compared against so many applicants if you don’t check every box you don’t hear back. It’s a frustrating cycle of applying, getting your hopes up, hearing nothing, and picking yourself back up to do it again. Let me tell you, it’s super fun!
That’s another thing about being unemployed, people act like you’re on vacation having a great time. I’d like to take this opportunity to let everyone know that isn’t the case for people who actually need jobs. Maybe if you’re rich and working for fun it doesn’t matter, but I’m trying to save for retirement! And a trip to Europe! And buy basic necessities without stressing out over them. Granted, I am more fortunate than most to have a husband with a great job, money in savings, and I’m getting unemployment payments (but, those are less than half of what I used to make). But even then, I still can’t shake the stress of needing a job.
And then there’s the boredom. I know some people think that not having a job and being able to watch TV all day long sounds glorious. It’s the dichotomy of always wanting what we don’t have. Those who work full-time ache for a layoff or a break with time to do nothing. On the other hand, I’m over here without a job, stressing out every day, bored with chores, TV, reading, and whatever else I find to fill my time with. I think the real issue is the lack of challenge and stimulation. And, the uncertainty of not knowing when the right job will come and I’ll get back to work.
The uncertainty is the worst part. Especially for me, someone who tends towards anxiety quite often. I like to be in control because it protects me. But the more I grow the more I learn that the only thing I have control over is myself.
Things I have no control over:
- Other people’s behavior, feelings, reactions, choices, etc.
- Being laid off.
- When I’ll get a new job.
- What happens in the world.
- People’s expectations or beliefs about you.
- Health and medical things (we have SOME control here, but genes, environment, etc. greatly predetermine so much).
- Emotions. They come whether we like it or not. What we have control over is how we process and react to them.
The key to finding peace in times of uncertainty is creating a routine for yourself and allowing time for relaxation, self-care, and fun. A job provides a set routine for most people M-F at specific hours. You know when you start and end, and have an idea of the work you’ll be doing. Without that anchor, it can be difficult to keep up with things that you need to do, and all too easy to slide into depression or stress, burn out, lose hope, and want to stay in bed all day(ask me how I know).
Here are the things I’ve found help me stay grounded:
- Have a set sleep and wake routine on weekdays, and try to keep it within 1-2 hours on the weekends too.
- Start or continue a workout routine and try to do it at the same time every day. Moving your body helps to calm your mind, and exercise is extremely beneficial for mental health.
- Schedule tasks every day and check them off as you complete them. This includes important must-do tasks and things you’d like to do. I even schedule rest & relaxation time.
- Decide which tasks are non-negotiable, and which are okay to skip if you don’t feel like it.
- Accept that some days are easier than others motivation and energy-wise. Being unemployed, and looking for a job is extremely stressful and sometimes you just need time to decompress.
- Figure out your budget and what you can spend each week, this can alleviate financial stress.
- Give yourself grace and remember what’s in your control and what’s not. Everything that’s not—learn to let it go.
- Have fun when you can. Just because times are hard and you’re unemployed doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to have fun and enjoy the time too.
Many of these tips seem so obvious, especially to people who aren’t currently in the thick of it. But if you’re struggling, sometimes the simplest things are both the hardest and the most necessary to keep you feeling okay. I think these are good things to prioritize even in the good times, so that when rough times come you have a solid foundation of taking care of yourself that you can continue to support yourself.
And, if you’re currently going through something, remember that it won’t be forever. Life ebbs and flows like the seasons, and eventually you will come out the other side stronger and more resilient than before.